To see the adult in the child…

Here I give you a few bits of wisdom concerning child rearing from a Saturday Essay, The Breeders’ Cup, in the Wall Street Journal of June 19th.

“If you enjoy reading with your children, wonderful. But if you skip the nightly book, you’re not stunting their intelligence, ruining their chances for college or dooming them to a dead-end job.”

“The same goes for watching television, playing sports, eating vegetables, living in the right neighborhood: Your choices have little effect on your kids’ development, so it’s OK to relax.”

“And once you realize that your kids’ future largely rests in their own hands, you can give yourself a guilt-free break.”

And if you’re a grandparent, like I am, I’m sure you’ll join me in saying, “If I had known grandchildren were this much fun I would have had them first.”

So, is the author, Brian Caplan right? Do we really have little or no influence on what our children become? Without going quite as far as he does I would say yes.

The evidence is on his side. What the children become in most cases cannot be attributed to the actions of the parents. Parents, of course, do not believe this and go on being soccer moms and fervid adherents to Sylvan Learning Centers, Kumon, and Suzuki violin lessons.

So if you’re a parent what should you do? Caplan has this right when he says, “If you create a loving and harmonious home for your children, they’ll probably remember it for as long as they live.”

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